Okay so I'm getting behind, but I hope anyone who's reading this keeps enjoying it!
Oh by the way new working title 😃
Nice to be so Naughty
🎄
Scene 5: Santa Baby
Scene: Cuts between basement IT
and conference room for individual
commentary. Monday December 10
9:02 a.m.
Basement IT department. Camera
shoots from behind GABRIELLA’s
Desk, over cubicle. A line of people
Are blocking the walk way from JACK’s
Desk to the elevator, laughing, talking.
GABRIELLA scrunched over keyboard,
snickering.
Enter JACK
WORKERS IN LINE (clapping)
Yay! Whooo!
JACK startles looking around.
JACK
Gabriella! What dd you do now?
GABRIELLA shoves fist into mouth
Laughing around it.
ANGELO (childlike)
Santa! Santa! Santa! I got here first, me first.
JACK
I don’t know what this is about, but unless your email servers crashed, get lost.
JACK shoves through crowd, crossing
To desk.
CORY
But Santa I’ve been good all year for this.
JACK
I cleaned your hard drive. You haven’t been that good.
ANGELO and CORY snigger.
MAYA grabs JACK as he passes.
MAYA
I’m so sorry about all this. I really did try to stop them.
JACK
Its fine. (loudly towards GABRIELLA) I know who did this.
GABRIELLA grins at camera. Holds
Up a single finger.
MAYA
I’m so glad you understand. I would hate for you to get angry with me and not bring my tea cup warmer.
PEOPLE IN LINE explode with
laughter.
Cut to conference room.
GABRIELLA
GABRIELLA
The gifts for today were little snowmen chains I got my sister Maria to decorate for everyone. Well she didn’t do them all. We made a party of it, with her and her art school friends. We drank cocoa, listened to Christmas music and decorated seventy-seven individual chains of snowmen in unique ways to represent the recipient. Not an easy task. (shrugs) I even gave some to the people on the naughty list. I only charged the company for the art supplies. (finger to lips) I let Maria keep the extra.
Beat. Unheard question.
GABRIELLA
Oh, you meant my punishment for Jack. (snickers) I may have sent an email from a dummy company account to a few people I knew would enjoy the joke, saying Santa was running out of ideas but that they could whisper their wishes into my helpers ear. My helper Jack Forest. I think a few of the recipients must have forwarded the email. (evil grin)
Cut to IT
JACK marches past crowd to
GABRIELLA.
JACK
This has gone far enough, okay? Just stop. How am I supposed to get any work done?
GABRIELLA
Work? Have you received a call already? Because you always say there is no point in working between calls.
JACK (between teeth)
Get rid of them.
GABRIELLA (sweetly)
Jack, come on, you’ve gotta relax. Its just a bit of fun (ends with a bite)
Beat. JACK smiles slowly into
a full grin.
JACK
You know. Your right, Gabriella. You’re the up-tight one. Thanks! At least now I won’t be bored. (to line) Give me a second guys.
GABRIELLA glares.
JACK sits at desk. Opens a blank file
On his desktop.
Cut to conference room.
GABRIELLA.
GABRIELLA
Oh he’s bluffing. He is definitely upset. He lives for his quiet do nothing time at work. He’s upset.
Cut to IT.
JACK
Now guys as loudly as you can, tell me what you want for Christmas.
ANGELO plops down on JACK’s
lap.
JACK throws ANGELO off.
JACK
Angelo! What the hell?
Cut to conference room.
GABRIELLA
I decided not to get him fired, so the email I sent specifically said not to sit on my helpers lap.
Beat. GABRIELLA grinning.
GABRIELLA
Okay fine, I knew some people wouldn’t be able to resist.
Cut to conference room JACK
Sits face impassive but slowly
grows amused.
JACK
The wallpaper thing was inspired. I was totally amused by it. And impressed it took me some real effort to get rid of it. She’s way too smart to be doing this job. And I was right, even though she’s trying to punish me, she’s given me the group gift everyday. Pushover (fondly) But today she almost had me, I was seriously pissed. I may have to get back to pranking her. Three people tried to sit on my lap! I can’t go to the bathroom without being bombarded with Christmas lists. And Cory keeps singing “Santa Baby.” But—
Beat. JACK stares amused into
distance.
JACK
But her face when she was trying to tease me (grinning) She couldn’t keep it up. She always pushes a step too far, past fun into…I don’t know I just know she looked like she literally wanted to take a bite out of me and it was too much fun to resist goading her more. I wanna see what she’s like when she goes over the line. (laughs)
Beat.
JACK
Don’t look at me that way. She started it. Oh—yeah thats right. I did. (chuckles) I guess she’ll have to finish it.
Cut to basement IT JACK’s desk.
JACK picks up a string of artistically
rendered snowmen. Each snowman
Has suffered a different death. JACK
Holds the snowmen up to the camera.
JACK
Can you believe these? (laughs) (whispering) She may actually be insane. I mean look, this one’s been…impaled on antlers. This one is being decapitated by really the sharpest candy cane I’ve ever seen. (cracking up) Who thinks of things like this? I like this guy, I mean how do you electrocute a Snowman. Well obviously with Christmas lights, but aside from his singed branches is it even possible? This one is nice, she really knows how to drive a point home.
The last snowman is blocked by a
broken Nutcracker. The broken
cracker arm is stuck through the
snowman’s head.
JACK
Who is she this talented at this many things? Why isn’t she running the world or something?
JACK gestures with a finger circling
his ear mouths “she’s crazy.”
Beat.
JACK smirking tacks the snowmen
to his cubicle wall.
Enter DANIEL stops at JACK’s desk.
Observes snowmen.
DANIEL BURNS
Wow! You guys are real hard core down here.
JACK
Don’t tell me, I’ve already guessed your list. You want little Krissy in each race and a collectors cabinet.
DANIEL
Ha. Ha. Actually I am here officially for HR.
JACK (jumping to feet)
What?
GABRIELLA peeks around cubicle
With a amused/concerned expression.
DANIEL BURNS (in shock)
What?
JACK (to GABRIELLA)
This is your fault.
DANIEL BURNS
Jack…I think you’ve got the wrong idea.
GABRIELLA
What’s the complaint? Can I verify anything for you?
DANIEL BURNS
Okay. I don’t know what is going on with you two but cool it. This is nothing bad. But of course if either f you has a legitimate complaint to lodge my office door is open. (beat) Because I’m down here with you (laughs-alone)
Okay, tough room. Should I know something here?
JACK and GABRIELLA
Why are you here?
JACK and GABRIELLA exchange
Militant looks.
DANIEL BURNS (quietly)
You two aren’t involved, are you?
JACK and GABRIELLA
No!
DANIEL BURNS
Right. Well if you’re sure.
GABRIELLA
We’re sure.
JACK
Why are you here?
DANIEL BURNS
Jack, Mr. Coleman is looking to have someone head up the whole IT department and do some liaising with the corporate types. Someone to travel with the sells team and do trouble shooting on the road. He’d like your resume before the first of the new year.
GABRIELLA
Just his resume?
JACK
I’ve been here two years longer than you have.
GABRIELLA
Meaning I am more familiar with current and developing technology.
JACK (angrily)
Are you serious?
GABRIELLA (defensively)
Why shouldn’t I be? You know I’m more than qualified for my job, or that one.
JACK
So go get another job and leave mine alone.
DANIEL
Enough!
JACK and GABRIELLA shut
Up and look at DANIEL.
DANIEL (impatiently)
Gabby, the request wasn’t just for Jack. It was however for the senior technicians. Jack, Michael, and Stan. However after their applications are reviewed the position will be opened to the public at which time you are welcome to apply. Jack, I told you first, because your desk was nearest the elevator. It is not your job yet. Now, do you two need to come to my office? Should I be separating you? Or can you woke together like adults? Before I put notes in both your files saying you aren’t management material.
GABRIELLA
Of course we can work together. Sorry, Mr. Burns. Things just get a little competitive down here. It won’t happen again.
DANIEL looks to JACK.
JACK nods once.
DANIEL BURNS
Alright. I’m going to tell the others. Try not to kill each other.
DANIEL BURNS passes
GABRIELLA’s desk, stops.
DANIEL BURNS
What happened to your privacy screen?
GABRIELLA glances to JACK
GABRIELLA
I… It broke. Sorry.
DANIEL BURNS (chastising)
You were the one who insisted on them. Maybe you should get it fixed.
GABRIELLA (flatly)
I will. Right away.
DANIEL BURNS
Good. (forced cheer) Cute desk, by the way. I love all the (waves hand) decoration. No snowmen for you?
GABRIELLA blushes mouth
agape.
GABRIELLA
I…have them in my drawer for safekeeping.
DANIEL BURNS nods at
JACK. DANIEL BURNS exits.
GABRIELLA releases a breath
Shoulders drop. Attempts to
replace privacy screen.
JACK watches GABRIELLA.
Cut to conference room.
GABRIELLA
GABRIELLA
So I didn’t want Jack to get fired for my prank. Thats why I changed the email and only sent it to his friends. But…(incredulous) he’s getting a promotion. (snorts laugh) Really? Jack as my boss. That’s too much to ask of anyone. He’d fit in perfect with the other managers…Liaise (snark) with them. Ha. Drink beer and do nothing more like. He has that I’m so handsome (snotty face) I’m so popular, thing going on. And that comment Mr. Burns made about my desk and “decoration” (air quotes) it felt like I was on one of those reality singing contests and I’m the girl they wanna let down easy.(growing agitated) “You look so pretty” Who cares? Is this a beauty pageant? No. Just give me your damned critique. I’m female so we know I can take it. 93% of being female is taking criticism.
GABRIELLA exhales heavily
Shoulders drop, rolls neck.
GABRIELLA
Ugh. And I just can’t believe I forgot myself for the secret santa gifts. I did it everyday. If someone else had noticed, and figured it out…it would have ruined the magic. When its been going along so well. People loved the cookie exchange. And on Friday when I when I gave everyone one of those fit in your pocket type rain slickers with a note saying to dress warm for the So-Cal winter they seemed to get a real kick out of it. And I forgot me every time. Idiot! I need to quit focusing on Jack’s punishments and put all my energy into the nice list.
Beat unheard question.
GABRIELLA
No. No one else made the naughty list. I was going to add Frank since he’s been so snappy with Clara all year, but…sometimes when things are going rough in your life its hard to face whats really bothering you, so I actually gave him a few extra treats. More cookies, and a set of snowmen for his wife. (shrugs)
Cut to conference room.
JACK.
JACK (annoyed)
She is the most annoying, conceited…ridiculous woman I’ve ever worked with. I can acknowledge that she’s good at her job. Hell she’s excellent. She goes way beyond her job description. She is, ought to be committed, level committed. But there is such a thing as seniority. And she is too eager ever to work in management. Look at the way she just jumped to fix that screen.
Beat. JACK breathing heavily.
JACK
And the way she took all the blame for it when she didn’t have to. No one in management does that. (shaking head) But she had no business being offended that they want me over her. And what am I doing? I’m sitting here feeling sorry for her. With her sad little puppy look when Daniel shut her down, and her horror because she’d forgotten to give herself the snowmen. (laughs) Do you know I think that may be what she was most upset about. And she needn’t have worried no one was going to notice.(heavy beat) No one notices her.
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